World of Maria

My Mentor

2012-01-10T18:15:00.001-08:00

My mentor, Mr. F, is so very inspiring. He came up to me when I was supposed to be doing a very menial task, and asked me about the moment I realized I was mortal. I told him it was when I started doing things for myself, and not just for quick rewards. He told me it was when his cat died at the tender age of 7. We talked about death. I told him that the reason technology exists is because man kind needs to busy themselves with tasks to keep from thinking about their own deaths. He vehemently disagreed. He disagreed on a very fundamental level, and that was that we define happiness differently. He said that happiness was in the moment, and not something that can be planned and then achieved. If one treats death like the unspoken deadline for happiness, one will never find it. This is because happiness is in the moment.

Now, I probably took the wrong thing from this. I felt inspired to actually go to the library and study like I had originally intended with my evening. Except, instead of punishing myself like I thought I would do, I would be doing it to embrace my bliss. I can't treat my tasks like its just another thing I have to check off the list until death, I have to embrace the journey. I feel my anxiety relieving itself already.

This is really what a mentor should do. He took a moment and discussed the philosophy of life and asked me if being a rocket scientist is really what will make me happy. I think yes, it will.

Am Book Reviews

2012-01-09T18:54:00.001-08:00

Alex Dodge and I are launching a new website, http://amreads.blogspot.com.

Tell your daughters to become engineers

2012-01-07T18:19:00.001-08:00

I was talking to a young high school student about going to college. I was the only person, let alone woman, in the family to go to college, and her mom hinted that I should give her some advice. She told me that she wanted to study english to become a teacher some day, that her focus isn't working and that she wanted to be a good wife and mother some day. Well, I bet you knew what I have to say. Like Lady Gaga says,

"Some women choose to follow a man and some others their dreams. In case that you wonder which way to follow, remember that your career won't wake up one morning to say that he doesn't love you."

I asked if she has even given math and science a decent shot. I told her that she could study anything and become a teacher. I tried to describe that engineers contribute to society in positive way. I also told her that not knowing how to do something the first time doesn't mean she isn't smart, and being smart is more about working hard than anything else. She wouldn't have any of it, and I felt like I failed in a small way.

Later upon reflection, I realized how selfish it is to not become an engineer. Anyone who isn't an engineer takes advantage of all the technology we have today. Humans made the big mistake at the beginning of civilization of changing the world around them, and now we have to keep on advancing and adapting until we can find equilibrium again. If she decides not to create, and it takes a lot of engineering to create something that hasn't existed before in these times, she isn't contributing to the future of humans.

Sure you can say that society needs teachers as much as it needs engineers. I'm talking a numbers game here. If as many people wanted to be engineers as teachers, then the pay scale would even out and we could value them equally. There would be higher quality teachers and a greater amount of workers in the technology fields. If we are conditioning half of all people that they aren't fit to be engineers, then we are excluding an untapped workforce. There is a slight majority of women on college campuses, and with the predilection towards women in the humanities fields, it means that a majority of people on college campuses are already biased against STEM Fields

it saddens me that I couldn't even change one young woman's mind.

Why?

2012-01-07T16:56:00.001-08:00

My recent trip to my hometown of Sedalia, Mo. was as difficult as it always was. I saw some things. Things I couldn't understand. How can someone live their lives without goals? How can people have neither jobs nor interests? How can people live in an unbearable situation and have no plan to get out of it? I saw people completely without ambition. And when I politely inquired, they simply asked why. Why what? If they are getting a disability check every month, what is the point in trying?

The question hung heavy in the air. With that rational in mind, why do I try so hard to become an engineer? Its been a completely uphill battle. My chemical engineering degree is a shrine to 4.5 years of tears, self doubt, and sleepless nights. I couldn't find a job as a junior engineer, and I have been a technician for almost a full year. I constantly have to prove myself to inch my way into an engineering role. Maybe being a technician is enough. If learn to be happy with what I have, I wouldn't have to fight the technician vs engineer class battle. Really, I am truly fortunate to have a job at all, especially one with such amazing caring people at a company with a great reputation and benefits.

But I want to be an engineer. I want to be paid to think as well as do. I want to learn something everyday until that accumulates into a lifetime of knowledge that no one can take away from me. I want to be invaluable. Not to mention that I actually love it. I love endless calculations. I can lose myself to math and physics. I can start in the early morning and lose track of time until I am late for work. I think that is love. Losing track of time is love. It makes me forget that I may die someday. I think that is how the ancients define love as well. Why indeed.

UCSD named #1 by Washington Monthly

2012-01-04T22:35:00.000-08:00

Today it came to my attention that my alma mater, UCSD, was elected number 1 school in the nation by Washington Monthly. Unlike the more commonly regarded US News School ranking, Washington Monthly ranked their schools according to some loosely defined social service criteria.

You would think that, as a proud Bachelor degree holding graduate from UCSD, I would be in agreement with these findings. I frankly am not. Most UCSD students would probably have the same reaction. The one conversation I remember having over and over again at that school was the complete lack over school pride. We banded together even in our lack of pride. That inarticulate feeling of collective isolation that I had while attending that school is probably the reason why I am just so dang surprised we won accolades for social achievement.

As skeptical as I am, I wouldn't say that I am in disgusting disagreement like the Forbes article on this subject.

New Years Eve Pomegranate Red Velvet Cake

2011-12-31T14:51:00.000-08:00

The inspiration

My interpretation with butter cream frosting

Ugly Cake Top

This red velvet cake has a white chocolate and pomegranate center. My inspiration for the cake side came from this month's cover of Bliss Victoria. I didn't like the top edge so I underwent the tremendous effort of using a second tip.

I would have loved keeping the cake at this stage, but how are people going to know what the cake is for unless there is writing on it?! The cake was completely ruined by my almost illegible handwriting. To save some face, I added some pretty pink centered roses and leftover pomegranate seeds, but alas, the cake has already been ruined. There will always be next new years.

Gingerbread again

2011-12-29T23:21:00.000-08:00

I made this gingerbread mansion today. There is a small candle coming out from the top, and it looks like a little chimney. I lined the second story with roses since that is the best thing I know how to make in frosting. Another little cute detail is some sort of modern art tree on the bottom right of the house, next to the walk way. The tree was my moms idea. I'm a little late for christmas, but this thing will be center stage at the new years party.

Airplane Mode or why I could never be a flight stewardess

2011-12-29T09:52:00.000-08:00

I bring electronics on planes. I've got my noise canceling headphones, my cell phone, my nook, and my friends iPhone just for good measure. Even though the FAA determined that we had to have all of those things shut off during take offs and landings, I tend to just put everything in airplane mode and hide it so the flight attendent can't chew me out. Depending on the day, the flight attendent can be more or less strict about this. Sometimes we will be told three or four times to turn everything off. Sometimes the flight attendent will walk through once and everyone will stick thier earbuds back in once s/he walks through. Sometimes the pilot just says to turn everything into airplane mode. People don't follow silly rules. The reason that even the best and brightest skirt this rule is because we don't understand it. Not even the stewardesses, and often, not even the pilots.

We don't understand it for good reason. A kindle uses 6 orders of magnitude less than the tolerable amount of EMT. The electrical interference excuse is BS. The other excuses are BS too.

But thats not my point. My point is that I wouldn't be able to stand enforcing a rule I don't understand. Doing something just because you are supposed to is such a control trip. I can't stand that psuedo sense of entitlement. And I definately wouldn't be able to stand telling someone to do something "just because". I've seen those stewards getting really worked up for these things too.

Leadership and Self Deception: Book Review

2011-12-28T15:53:00.000-08:00

Salary.com recommended this book as one of the 13 top business books that could change my life. I almost immediately bought it for 8 dollars from the Barnes and Nobles NookBook store. I laughed when the book described itself as "straightforward". How astute.

It wasn't a great read, persay. The charactors weren't very fleshed out and I had a strange feeling that the reactions the charactors were having were what the writers wanted the readers to be having. The writing sounded a lot like this:

"Important sentence"

"the charactor thought about that for a moment"

However, the concepts did stick with me. I found the box idea intriguing. I immediately was able to apply the box to people I know now. A person being in a box is an analogy for someone who can't see the bigger picture. Perhaps someone's ego is hurt, or they are being corrected for something unjustly. There must be a box in play, either the other persons or my own. Interesting stuff. It was a gentle analogy that could be used as charactor correction in an office.

My only qualm is that this story about a box isn't really what I thought I was getting into. I thought it was about deciving yourself of your original intentions, say in choosing a career. Oh well. At least now I have the feeling that I can rise above interoffice politics.

Glamour Takes on Women in Tech

2011-12-27T22:43:00.000-08:00

I was flipping through the November 2011 Glamour issue today, the one with the one-armed Kristen Stewart on the cover. On page 31 there is the most fascinating article on Women in Tech. Now this really jumped out at me after reading the only 3% of venture capital is given towards woman statistic, the Sheryl Sandberg call for females in tech, and the Penelope Trunk post.

This is awesome. The women they brought on were really big contributors to the industry, and I have definately heard of thier projects. The women they profiled (or blurbed, is that a word?) were Jess Lee, Hilary Mason, Kati London, Caterina Fake, Julie Larson-Green, and Stacy Brown-Philpot. And they had great clothes and hair in their pictures too.

You see, I always thought that the reason that women in tech aren't more front in center in these magazines was because glossy magazine writers studied the more liberal of arts in college. Why bother writing about what you don't know? They still managed to take a bit of an outsiders perspective on the whole issue though. I was a little put off by one of the sample prompts being "she loves being a geek because...". Maybe nerd, not geek. Geek is just so... ugly.

I am glad. I hope this in addition to all the fodder I ran across before about women in business isn't just a fall 2011 fad. If smart female engineers are going to be sexy, they definately need at least three pages in a glossy fashion magazine.

The Martha Rules: Book Review

2011-12-26T19:25:00.000-08:00

I am absolutely not a Martha-hater. I love her, and I see the value of homemaking and entertaining. Still, I was not happy with this book. As most people playing with the idea with entrepreneurship, I want more than anything a close friend to propell me forward towards this task. Martha is not that person. She tells us in the first chapter that she, among her entreprenural minded friends, is the naysayer. That... that just isn't want I wanted. This book was not inspiring, nor did it really have a lot of new information.

The book is organized into "10 essentials" although I could not recall what even one of those essentials was. I remember something about having a "big idea". She presents these essentials by telling stories about other start ups that reinforce her values, namely quality, hard work, doing your homework, and maintaining a pristine reputation. Man, she is the anti-Tim ferriss.

Another thing I disliked was how very small business it was. Martha always refers to the reader of the book as a her and a she, and always indicates that the business in mind was something like a nail salon or a flower shop. Although these life style businesses are the salt of the earth when it comes to women's businesses, it means nothing to the more tech minded female entrepreneur. It really doesn't matter what part of town I put my shop in the age of the global marketplace, Martha.

I have a feeling Martha would hate the likes of me. I am into taking shortcuts, making mistakes, and learning my lesson the hard way to make it into this world. I come from nothing, for goodness sake. Martha makes it sound like only someone with class and background can start a company, let alone make it in this world.

Parents' Christmas Painting

2011-12-25T22:24:00.000-08:00

Bing Bing in real life

This christmas I painted a picture of my parents' dog, bing bing, depicted as a princess. They didn't seem to LOVE it as much as they loved thier painting last year, but I guess they can't all be winners.

Princess Bing Bing

I especially love the detail where she is holding her tiger, her favorite stuffed animal.

Christmas Eve Party

2011-12-25T21:48:00.000-08:00

I am visiting my parents again for Christmas this year. To commemorate the event I created a chocolate dipped fruit tree. I've been wanting to do this ever since I saw the Charles Phoenix Astro-Weenie Tree. Walmart didn't seem to have any Styrofoam cones so I used a pineapple for the base instead. In this tree are strawberries, apples, pears, raspberries, pomegranetes, and of course, pineapple. To go along with my little treat I prepared some hot apple cider and some cream cheese crackers. This isn't going to be a new years eve thing, unfortunately. My dad said that it is too hard to eat, but he may just not like eating fruit.

skuuzi knitting design

2011-12-21T22:54:00.000-08:00

I came up with the task of thinking of a design for this product.

Here is my interpretation!

The internet is telling me to start my own company

2011-12-19T12:38:00.000-08:00

Penelope Trunk always frames things from the young woman's perspective. She tells us what we should do from her perspective, as an experienced older woman who has made the mistakes before. She told me that only 3% of Venture Capital funding was given to women. She also told me that women don't care. We, as woman, are too busy starting nail salons and laundry mats to ask for venture capital to create something truly innovative.

I find this to be an affront to capitalism. Our social system works on many levels, but the most important is the drive toward innovation. Women aren't taking apart in that. We aren't playing that game at all.

and it is such that I, as an opportunist, see a power vacuum.

This is the start of an era.

Ginger Bread House

2011-12-12T12:32:00.000-08:00

I spent Sunday making a gingerbread house. Are we supposed to eat these? How long does it last before it goes stale?

Knitted Skirt

2011-12-06T22:53:00.000-08:00

Basic knitted skirt. Made up the pattern, sized it using my SECRET SIZING METHOD. It is quite beautiful.

Fishy cake

2011-12-06T22:47:00.000-08:00

My second cake, after third wilton cake decorating class

My first cake!

2011-12-06T22:46:00.000-08:00

My first cake pre-wilton decorating class

My first cabochon!

2011-12-06T22:45:00.000-08:00

Hello world

2011-11-01T13:01:00.000-07:00

How's it going. Its awful rude of me to ask, really, seeing as we don't know eachother that well.

Instead of trying to cover up my neglect by deleting the blog and starting all over, I am just going to apologize like a big girl and carry on.

Things are going fairly well. I have been taking various courses, trying to find my bliss. I am now a thin film person, and this is the craft that I intend to be excellent at.

For a baby shower

2011-08-11T08:33:00.000-07:00

A baby hat and booties for the babies

my charm

2011-08-05T12:40:00.000-07:00

Whenever I start getting stressed at work.. this is what I repeat to myself

I'm here for the science

Sedalia Tornado

2011-06-13T22:31:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3wXYhEJlreU My parents' house was okay.

new hat

2011-05-21T18:17:00.000-07:00

self affirming cross stitching

2011-05-15T22:58:00.000-07:00

I finished this cross stitching project today. I hope it will remind me to stop waiting for life to start.

First sewn hat ever

2011-05-15T18:33:00.000-07:00

I can't decide how I should spice it up.

Inspire Daily

2011-05-11T23:46:00.000-07:00

Hey everybody,

I just made a new website called Inspire Daily. Go Check it out. It is my most recent effort in becoming my own best friend.

2011-05-03T13:04:00.000-07:00

I work every day and every way I do wonderful work for wonderful pay

as successful as I want to be

2011-05-02T12:38:00.000-07:00

Pretty frequently lately I have been realizing how happy I am with the life I have. My expenses are low, my satisfaction is high. If I had 1 million dollars I have no idea what I would buy. After long runs I feel happy and energized, as though I am on top of the world. Despite all this, I have a nagging feeling that I should be more successful. I should be more beautiful, with more friends, more money, more things. Yet, I know that those things take work and time, work and time that I could be spending simply knitting and being happy.

But didn't Young Maria have dreams of being an astronaut, a doctor, a lawyer, and and absolutely beautiful? I am envious when I meet people that are successful with thier careers and relationships. Maybe if I worked harder, I could have those things. I just don't know if I want those things anymore. I used to be so hard working, with such a clear goal in mind. Now I don't think that working until I die is a good enough goal anymore. My ambition was so blind. My greatest fear now is that, now that I have gotten rid of blind ambition, I am now lacking any ambition. And thats bad, right? I don't know anymore.

Blue and Red Cardigan

2011-04-30T23:40:00.000-07:00

I just finished knitting this sweater. After seeing how well it fit, I wish I used nicer yarn. Color inspiration by the warblers

Crafting Queue

2011-04-21T13:32:00.000-07:00

sewn bolero inspiration

~~"Rose" cross stitching~~
"Space Ship" bookmark cross stitching
"Everyone Dies Alone" Cross Stitching
"Bird" Jacket knitting
Blue cardigan with red piping knitting
"Is that the Mug you are putting on facebook" cross stitching
sewn bolero

Rose Cross Stitching

2011-04-19T08:09:00.000-07:00

Now it is time to find a way to cheaply frame a 8x4 piece.

New Highlight!

2011-04-13T11:27:00.000-07:00

Chemistry World just did an article on a paper I wrote. View it here http://www.rsc.org/chemistryworld/News/2011/April/13041103.asp

Mat Musto: Douche Bag

2011-04-05T18:42:00.000-07:00

I came across this song because it was the wallpaper of grooveshark.com. The song is written in the second person, telling a girl that she should probably break up with her boyfriend if she is seeing him. He claims that he is going to "knock him out" if she doesn't break up with him. Normally I would make the case that the girl is being objectified because she isn't treated as a responsible party. Not this time. Even though she isn't a speaking character, I can tell she knows what she is doing. Good for her.

Surface Optics

2011-04-04T18:28:00.001-07:00

Cooking: The beginning of an era.

2011-04-04T18:23:00.000-07:00

What you can see here is the beginning of my new journey of learning how to cook. Being a vegetarian is tough because there are only a few restaurants that cater to vegetarians, and it is normally over priced for what it is. Then there is the fact that it is hard to go to a restaurant alone and the escort is seldom a vegetarian (except for when I am with Ariel). I am also looking to save money, lose weight, and eat healthier.

I started out by going to Henry's and picking out some good looking ingredients. The only item I didn't get were tomatoes because all they had was the fancy on the vine expensive stuff. I got home, cut up my ingredients, and had a stir fry. I was disappointed to discover that my wok was missing. I loved that wok and it is the only pan that I actually owned in the kitchen. RIP wok.

I think it turned out pretty good. It took an entire 45 to make overall. Cooking for one leaves enough ingredients to have this all week, so I will have plenty of time to experiment. Next time I am going to put the tofu in early with the onion and garlic so it can absorb more flavor. In this trial, the most delicious thing was the mushroom because it had time to soak up that delicious garlic.

Notice that I ate it next to my lovely cross stitching so I could create a nice ambiance.

Self Magazine's Drop 10 challenge

2011-04-04T18:09:00.000-07:00

I picked up an issue of Self Magazine while at a Wal-Mart in Phoenix Arizona three days ago. A good half of the magazine was about the Drop 10 challenge. This is some sort of 5 week program where you are supposed to drop 10 pounds by following a structured diet and fitness plan. This sounded pretty appealing to me because I told myself that I would finally have time to get in shape once I was out of college. I signed up and I was excited to be already getting the spam in my email with recipes and workouts.

That is well and good, but I can already tell that its not going to work.
1) the website is too hard to use. There are so many cluttering advertisements and buttons I have to press by the time I have logged in I've already run out of patience.
2) there is no way to tell the program that I am a vegetarian. This renders the daily recipes almost useless. This also makes the logging calories portion exponentially more complicated. The only way to log calories that I've noticed is to log the meal that they suggested.
3) The emails are so full of pictures that I am unable to casually read the messages on my phone. I seldomly read emails on computers anymore. There is a Self App out there, but its only for the workouts.

I am going to stick with it as long as I can regardless, probably going to have to limit myself to the workouts. I'll let you know how it goes.

Now That I'm Done with College

2011-04-03T16:48:00.000-07:00

A mythical unforeseeable event has occurred: I finished college. There are a few regrets, there are a few fears, but mostly there is free time.

Do I finally have time for these things now?

learning to play an instrument
getting fit
realizing my purpose in this life
learning to cook, and making it a common practice
becoming a wine connoisseur
playing video games
writing short stories
painting beautiful works of art
having a clean room
joining a book club
having dinner parties

Volunteering

2011-04-03T16:37:00.000-07:00

Here is a list of events/organizations that I have volunteered for.

Expanding Your Horizons Conference 2011
MCRD Bootcamp Run 2010
Pomerado Palomar Hospital 2008-2009

I wrote a Short Story

2011-03-26T22:20:00.000-07:00

I wrote a Short Story called Gone with The Wind: The Plight of a Sentient Drone. I'm pretty proud of it. Check it out here.

Wine and Garlic Cross Stitching

2011-03-26T22:10:00.000-07:00

My second ever cross stitching project. I have a fantasy of one day decorating my very own kitchen and hanging this one the wall next to my banana hammock.

Cole Camp, MO is Racist

2011-03-26T21:54:00.000-07:00

I do not feel the effects of racism that often. Sure, I may be upon questionable ethnicity upon first glance, but I rarely associate with people that care about that sort of thing. This makes me even more taken aback when it does happen.

That being said, I had a bad experience today while Antiquing in Cole Camp, MO. This town is extremely small, known exclusively for its german population. People from the nearby town of Sedalia (where I'm from) would warn that Cole Camp is a bit extreme. I came here pretty excited upon the midst of a snowstorm. I just came back from some amazing antique stores in Lincoln with some great depression glass finds. I was hoping that lady luck would strike twice. My mom, dad, and I stroll into Big Brown Dog Antiques and the clerk greets us. We look at some of the jewlery first, and I reach over and pick up a pair of earrings until I notice that they are $26 dollars. I set them down then look to find the clerk to ask if the price was right. She was already staring right at me. That made me feel wierd, but I figured it was one of those moments where you just awkwardly make eye contact with a stranger. I forget my question, and I walk around the store. I find a stack of used cross stitching magazines. I think I spent 15 minutes rooting through those magazines. Every once in a while I would look up to make sure my parents haven't left the store, but I would make eye contact with the clerk who was circling awkwardly close and monitoring my actions. It made me feel extremely uncomfortable. I felt like I was doing something wrong. I terminated my antiquing in this store early, deciding to get out of the scrutiny of this sales clerk. My parents find me and I can tell that they had the same sentiment. I put my $1 worth of magazines on the table and she rudely asks me if I am going to pay for them. I thought "why in the world wouldn't I pay for them", but I ended up meekly saying, "yes". I handed her a dollar and a dime and left the store.

Come to find out, the lady might have just been checking me out, but she was harassing my parents. She was closely following them the whole time. At one point, she accused my father of theft. Now this bewildered me. Why would she accuse a grown man of theft when his teenage daughter is rifling around the same store? After this accusation, he wordlessly walked away from her to find me and leave. If I knew this happened, I would have stuck up for us. Just because we are hispanic doesn't mean we steal. My dad fought for 20 years in the military for this country, and my uncle built the church in this town 10 years ago. We have deep roots here, and she is going to treat us like we are a bunch of criminals.

Was it racism? Yes. There were many other people in that store, and we were the only ones being harassed.

When I think of this I get so mad that I want to go back and slap that lady. She works in a crummy store in the middle of nowhere and she thinks she is better than us.

People have warned us about Cole Camp. I have heard anecdotes about the racism that is prevalent there, but this is the first time that I experienced it first hand. I wish I could make an example out of this, but I can't. This, to you at least, is just one more anecdote.

I am doing what I can to sooth my pride. I wrote a flaming yelp review here.

Questionable Content

2011-03-26T01:27:00.000-07:00

My all time favorite webcomic is Questionable Content. The storylines are sometimes pretty weak and the jokes are often only funny at 3am, but what the comic really excels at is charactor development. Each charactor has its own speech patterns, body type, personality, and style. Its as if Jeph Jacques is referencing real people when he creates this comic. The other thing that can get you hooked is the consistancy. This man has consistantly created a webcomic everyday for at least the last 6 years. I read this webcomic about scene kids ever since I was in high school. It has really changed over the years. The style, has changed, the charactors have become more nuanced, and a host of female secondary charactors have been introduced over the years. If you really want to get a good experience, read it from strip one. I bet you could knock it out in three days.

This is undoubtedly an endorsement. Go check it out.

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs

2011-03-20T13:36:00.000-07:00

I did not like this movie. The reaction I had wasn't mere head shaking, it was disgust. What are people all over the world going to think when they see our flippant relationship with food? It frankly left a bad taste in my mouth.

The story was about a reckless underdog inventor that aims to materialize food for the people of his small fishing town. His invention flies into the air, embedding itself into the atmosphere, and makes it rain food. His love interest is a junior weather girl who reports on the freak atmospheric occurrence to the rest of the world. Eventually everything goes amok, and he has to stop the weather food machine from destroying the world. He succeeds, but only after enforcing some terrible themes and illustrating some disturbing imagery.

The writing was terrible. I couldn't put my finger on any one theme. There were plenty of chances to elaborate thoughtfully on many of the atrocities that they brought up, but instead left them dangling, almost in support of them. Allow me to elaborate with a list of themes they could have went with and why they failed

Follow you dreams. Flint was picked on at school and no one supported his dream to be a young inventor. His mother did, but she died. His father was more realistic, and wanted him to actually support himself. The social pressure makes Flint an underdog, so we are supposed to pity him. The theme failed because following his dream was a terrible decision. He invented something that ruined the town. In the end, he didn't get to follow a fabulous career, he got to live with the consequences.
Take responsibility for your actions. Our hero invents things then sets them loose on town. The people of his town don't like him, and rightfully so. Regardless, we are supposed to feel sorry for him and allow him to make mistakes. That is probably a good message for children. They are allowed to try things and make mistakes because they are children. Flint was not a child. His decisions had massive repercussions. When he finally jumped to action, it wasn't because he had to because he caused all these problems in the first place, but because he was the hero and he was being heroic. Even when his father tried to get him to support himself, contribute to the family business, and eventually to take responsibility for his invention, Flint pouts around and the film tries to get us to take his side. The father's good parenting and appropriate responses are seen as adversarial. People who fix their own mistakes aren't heroes.
Gluttony is bad. Food became an abundance and some people got fat. People were eating all the time, always ravenously wanting more. After all that imagery of wasted food, people eating with both hands, laying face down in a pile of food, you would think the movie would make a stronger point about the dangers of gluttony. Alas, only a few people got fat, the bad guys. Even then, they didn't get fat because they ate so much, they were just marginally more greedy than the rest of the population. Instead of making a link between gluttony and fat, they made a link between evil-ness and fat. That isn't cool.
Avoid Waste. Uneaten food piled on the ground, and machines hauled it away. It was stored in a landfill that grew increasingly large with every passing day. After the height of the food maelstrom, the floodgates burst and the food pours over the town, destroying it. The only thing they had to do to make the point about waste was to make it disgusting. Instead it was a terrifying tidal wave of delicious snacks. People even sat amongst the food afterward happy that it was over, not disgusted at what they have done to themselves. Their waste wasn't something they dealt with because it was their own fault, it was an unavoidable affliction.
Girls can be smart. I thought the movie was going to make a point about this with Sam. She was a beautiful ambitious weather girl, but she had a habit of saying smart things but quelling them last minute to sound more ditzy. Flint calls her out on it, but it goes to a dark place. Sam says that she was always picked on for being nerdy, so she decided to be beautiful. Flint encourages her to be 'herself' and put her hair back and wear massive eyeglasses, essentially dorking her up. Just No. The story tried to make a feminist point, but like second wave feminist tells us, women can be beautiful AND smart. CWACOM made a point of making them mutually exclusive. It would have been okay if Sam made this choice mid-movie herself but unfortunately, Flint made this decision for her. tsk-tsk-tsk.

On a side note, this movie was decidedly sexist. Not only did the movie not pass the Bechdal Test, but Sam never got to be her own person. The only change she underwent was due to men. The only thing she contributed to the movie was as a love interest, and as the one that foresees the weather crisis. This last part would have been okay, but it fell into her lap. The suitcase containing the the weather device appeared magically out of nowhere. She could have been a driving force of the movie, but they made her as passive as they could. Even when she was affecting the movie's outcome slightly by lowering Flint into the Abyss, she had a massive allergic reaction to a peanut. Flint decides to chew the rope apart so Sam wouldn't have to make the decision about allowing him to drop. This prompted one of the male characters to literally pick her up and carry her to safety. This shows that women, even when they are trying their best, are misguidedly heroic and, at the end of the day, completely ineffective
Don't play with your food. A small point, but the movie should have at least taken a stance. Instead, the movie encouraged it, making it funny. The most disgusting thing in the entire film was when one of the men gets eaten up by a cooked chicken and pokes his head and arms through, wearing the chicken like a suit. I almost vomited. I wish some sort of negative repercussion would come out of this, but instead, it wears it for the rest of the movie like a suit of armor.

The film just had a disturbing relationship with food. The movie never said that wasn't okay. Americans sees food falling out of the sky fully formed, without any thought at all. There are people all over the world who are starving, and we are shoving our uneaten food high and out of sight. Does our population have such a low appreciation for food? Food is love, food is culture, and food is sustenance. This horrible movie stripped all of that away, and turned it into a copious monstrosity.

Was I the only person that thought that this film was in poor taste? I think so. The movie got fabulous reviews. It goes to show that Americans will watch anything with good animation and a massive budget.

The HowStuffWorks Podcast suite, A review.

2011-03-20T01:24:00.000-07:00

I love How Stuff Works Podcasts. They all have extremely high sound quality, are timely, and are always well researched. They are professional: these people are paid to give us free entertainment.

But there is more than one podcast, and they aren't interchangeable. After the hundreds of hours of listening to them, I've unfortunately grown opinions that I can't relate to anyone with.

Let me tell you what I think. I have listened to most of them, and I'll tell you if I haven't.

Stuff You Should Know
This is the flagship podcast, the most popular, and the most entertaining. Unlike the other podcasts from Howstuffworks, Chuck and Josh here talk about whatever they want. And that's okay. They make every single topic they attack the most interesting thing you've ever heard. I've never aborted a file halfway through because I wasn't interested in what they were talking about. Is it that they only attack fan favorites? No, its because their personalities shine so bright after every passing sentence that it becomes more like a conversation with an informative friend than a boring lesson. They are funny, they are witty, and they take their sweet time. The downside is that they can get so far off topic that you'll have to read the podcast title again to remember what their original idea was. The amazing part is that there is such a good time to be had that it doesn't really matter.

And stick around for the listener mail. Sometimes the listener mail can be longer than the actual topic that day, but that is where the funniest moments are. I still sometimes end my haikus with refrigerator.

Stuff You Missed In History Class

Once I decided that I couldn't get enough "Stuff You Should Know", I decided to check out what the other podcasts were like. "Stuff you missed in History Class" was my second experience with How Stuff Works podcasts. I had an immediate aversion. It was just so much more... girly. I didn't expect that. Not only were these ladies podcast announcers, but they had extremely high pitched voices. It was a little irritating. It also served a practical disservice. It was much harder to listening to the podcast in my car because the pitchiness didn't come through the roar of the freeway. That isn't something they can help. It just didn't help with this fact combined that, with their overt girliness bouncing off of each other in the podcasts, it created a cutefest or glamour-oogling with even the most unsuspecting historical event.

And dammit, I really ended up liking it. I raptly listened to EVERY episode. They took the dusty veneer off every oil painting and sepia microfilm and replaced it with buttons and bows.

Stuff Mom Never Told You.

Cristen and Molly

This podcast was the scale tipping endeavor. The endeavor that after listening to EVERY episode, I decided to bite the bullet and download the remaining 6 podcasts, 1500 files.

This Podcast is about gender relations and feminist issues. They once described it themselves as "stuff you should know with boobs". Surprisingly, it was much less girly than "stuff you missed in history class". These ladies had bite. Cristin Konger in particular had a lot of spunk and a few impressions up her sleeve.

This podcast really affected me. I turned into a feminist. I wore lipstick and I started drinking beer. From this podcast I learned how to own my femininity without feeling like I am going against the norm.

From another perspective, my boyfriend HATES it. Absolutely inexplicable.


Caroline and Cristen

Update: That old picture is a bit outdated. The newest addition is a distracting new filly, Caroline. I think the podcast may have taken a turn for the worst. Caroline often breaks into fits of laughter and gives points of view that are neither insightful nor well researched. Luckily Cristen is still there as the studious base of the podcast, but Caroline may just be a distraction.

Stuff They Don't Want You Know

This is a video podcast. I haven't seen all of them. Once you download 'em all you'll get a 5.5 minute file comprised of a minute of intro and ads. The ad is played at both the beginning and end of the podcast. If you like sitting down for a spell and getting your podcasts in a big chunk, you'll see the ads repeated end over end until it will drive you crazy. You'll quickly devise a way to move the curser to the 32 second mark at the beginning of the podcast and aborting it 15 seconds early. Perhaps you'll do this with your big toe.

My biggest grief with this podcast is the fact that it isn't that informative. With 3.5 minutes dedicated to a topic, it doesn't have time to give me any new information. It glosses over wide topics and hopes to divert you from this unfortunate fact by a parade of first page google images. O well. I've got nothing but time.

Stuff To Blow your Mind

Formally, "Stuff From The Science Lab". I haven't listened to every episode yet, but so far I like it. This podcast has very much the same feel as "Stuff You Should Know". They bring up a seemingly unrelated topic that might be relevent to our daily lives then turn it into something interesting. It restricts itself to scientific topics. The dynamic between the two writers is pretty good. Alison sounds like a girly girl and an awesome mom while Robert often chips in with some interesting observations and is always straightforward with some odd sounding facts. The science fiction references and reading recommendations are also good. I had lots of ideas for short stories I should write. This podcast ranks as number four in the favorites list.

The little something that makes this podcast stand out is the amount of reflection they have on their topics. Everyone else just puts the facts out there. Chuck and Josh add a little extra because they make it funny. When you listen to Alison and Robert, it is like having an intelligent conversation. They let you know what they are thinking, and they advance the ideas past the discussions in scientific papers.

Another notable point of this podcast is that it has always been Alison and Robert. They've never passed the gavel and they really know how to work with eachother. Sometimes they get into the realm of the slightly-sexy, but it is always a comfortable conversation with Alison and Robert. They are also, notably, the only male-female pairing.

Brain Stuff

This podcast title is totally misleading. I was under the impression that we were supposed to learn interesting things about the brain. The brain is a very interesting subject that could very well had deserved its own podcast. I downloaded it with the delightful anticipation of listening to it with a cognitive scientist. I should have listened to it first. The title references the announcer's last name, and not the subject matter. The show is organized into 5 minute answers to interesting questions. It is as if we are tuning in to hear about what our friend Marshall Brain thinks is cool. Unfortunately, we had no reason from the get-go to make Marshall Brain our friend. I also admit that I didn't listen to every episode. I made it to the 6th or 7th one. After a few of them, they started asking for people to write in with questions. I laughed out loud... they stopped having stuff to talk about rather early on.

The biggest problem this podcast has is that it doesn't have a clear subject. It is just Marshall Brain. He wanted a podcast to talk about whatever he wanted, and he got one. If you are a fan of the relatively unknown Marshall Brain, this podcast is for you, but I would have to be pretty desperate to turn to it.

Tech Stuff
I can tell these guys identify themselves as geeks. Unfortunately, that is a rather sophisticated title nowadays. Geeks are geeks because they have a specific interest. Having something that will appeal to geeks means that you are always isolating your market. Some of the podcasts are interesting, but even if you are into some of them, I bet you are never completely interested in more than 10% of them.

Car Stuff

As far as I can tell, this podcast has more of a rural country feel. One of the announcers has a northern accent, Canadian, even Minnesotan in texture. The banter is pretty good, and the music sets off the podcast perfectly. I downloaded all of the episodes expecting it to help me with the car trouble I've been having lately, but so far its just been a general podcast for car enthusiasts.

The podcast is in the question answer format. One person is an expert at cars, and the other is just the excitable host.

Even though I am not really in that demographic, I am going to have to keep listening.

Stuff From the B-Side
I admit that after listening to the first two podcasts, I went to iTunes and unsubscribed, deleting all of the episodes in the process. It sounded just too elitest. Later, in my casual listening time, I deciding to give it another chance with the episodes on my iphone. It was... not as bad. I have only listened to three episodes total, so I don't think I can give it a fair review. I'll let you know when I get a better opinion.

Stuff for the Stylish Home

It has quite a fitting theme song. It allowed me to get caught up in the glamour of interior decorating. I wasn't so infatuated by the end. I don't think it's their fault, the topic just may be a little dry. The decoupage podcast talked about mod podge and that was it. The children's room podcast talked about ... I can't even remember. Podcasting is just a bad medium unfortunately.

Green Bobble Scarf

2011-03-15T13:38:00.000-07:00

Hee is my newest knitted project. It is a circle scarf with one bobbled segment. I got the idea from the Holiday issue of Vogue knitting 2010, but I ran out of the horrid green yarn and I didn't want to buy another skein because I didn't want any more of it floating around. I modified the pattern by finishing the bobbled segment and simply sewing it to the end. By doing this, I only had to use two skeins of Vanna's Acrylic.

This was a very easy project. I don't think I needed to buy an issue of vogue knitting to do it, either. I have a feeling it would be a lot more decedent of I did use the alpaca that they suggested I spring for, but this was much cheaper. To match the gauge they described, I used a size 13 needle and used two strands of Vanna's at a time.

Expanding Your Horizons Conference

2011-03-06T00:07:00.000-08:00

I was a mentor for the Expanding Your Horizons (EYH) conference today. I led I group of 7th grade girls through activities that were meant to encourage their future career choices. I went to the very same conference when I was in middle school. It was interesting to see the same events with grown up eyes. The day was much shorter than I remember, and the workshops were MUCH more amazing. It is interesting to see how people interpret science as appealing to young girls. They showed pictures of women in science, told them about their lives, and related them to the girls.

The Fractals workshop

A certificate

The Entomology Lab

Me, My sign, and My walky talky

Cross Stitching

2011-03-02T01:17:00.000-08:00

First cross stitch

Cross stitching design and pattern

I completed my first ever Cross Stitching project today. It is a picture of a small wreath. The whole thing is probably 2.5"x2.5". It's adorably small and I can't wait to start another soon!

Is your Period oppressing you? Or, How women want to be men

2011-02-25T13:28:00.000-08:00

Are your shoes oppressing you? Your hair? How can a bodily function oppress us? They can't. People oppress us. Saying my period oppresses me is like saying being a woman oppresses me. Menstral cycles, if they symbolize anything, symbolizes fertility and feminitiy.

I heard about women hating thier periods today in the Stuff Mom Never told you podcast from the Howstuffworks podcast suite. This podcast specifically talks about gender relations and women's issues. They had a whole podcast about "how periods are the last taboo". They spoke about birth control that limits periods to 4 times per year. They then went on to talk about how women elect to do this, not because they want to avoid the pain and hassle of a period (like I thought), but because they hate thier periods and what they mean. Apparently periods are nasty thing filled with social implications. Now, this is odd to me. This means that the menstral cycle is no longer an affliction, it is a status that women want to avoid. Those women that I heard about today are misguided. The status they want to avoid is womanhood.

I blame it on the media. Consumer culture makes its money by telling women that they can and should change everything about themselves. We use products and technology to change into our true selves. What exactly do we want to to change into? This new school of thought about abandonment of the menstral cycle gives us the answer. We want to be men.

Beyonce in Blackface

2011-02-24T22:11:00.000-08:00

Beyonce in Blackface

I came across this interesting article at Times.com today. Everyone is making a big to-do about Beyonce doing a photoshoot in black face. Black face gets a bad rap because racist white people used it to play black characters in old movies and plays, often in a less than positive light. It has become a taboo because it harkens back to a time where racism was the standard, and public ridicule was a common past time. Anytime black face is involved, you know things have gotten way out of hand. (Remember the UCSD Compton Cookout Scandal?)

Beyonce's too thin legs

But is what Beyonce did wrong? No. That is why I wrote this blog post. I think Beyonce did nothing wrong. She is a proud black woman who has identified herself as as role model for young black girls. She is taking black face back. Just like the N word. I still can't say the N word, and I probably will never be allowed to appear in black face. There is a big difference in what those UCSD frat kids did and what beyonce did. She isn't dressing up in black face so she can make fun of black people, she is dressing up in black face to show the beauty of black women, and not just the light skinned ones at that.

What peaked my interest more was Beyonce's legs. She was supposed to be the beautiful thick woman, a role model for normal sized women. She isn't a size 8 there, she is a size 0. I would understand losing a lot of weight if she were still cutting her teeth in the business, but now that she is an icon, she can afford to be a role model.

A Comparison

Words to Live by

2011-02-15T15:31:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I hear something that invokes thought and self reflection. This is my attempt collect them.

"You can't think that the world owes you something. All the hard work you do only gets you to that next interview." - Dan Kagan, Mentor

"At the end of the day, you'll be alone with your books" - Prasanthi Patel, a college roomate.

"Hope is just the seed of disappointment" - Me

"Regardless of how distant your dreams may seem, every second counts" -Dean Karnazes, Ultramarathoner

"The opposite of Love is not hate, its indifference" - Molly from "Stuff Mom Never Told you Podcast"

Saturday night

2011-02-13T00:19:00.000-08:00

I had an essay to write today, but I ended up procrastinating and taking myself out for a date. I went to the Landmark La Jolla theater and saw The Black Swan. I was terrified. The movie scared the living daylights out of me. I was wound up pretty tight when I decided to go, and that movie exacerbated it. Nothing seems lonelier right now that sitting in my room afraid, listening for bumps in the night. I hope I never see that movie again.

The only comfort I have is knowing that this paper is due tomorrow whether or not I feel psychologically tortured by a stupid movie. Maybe not being able to sleep tonight will be a good thing.

Knee High Lace Socks

2011-02-10T23:55:00.000-08:00

Toe-up two-at-a-time on size 2 41" circular needles

I knitted these lace socks. I got the lace stitching pattern, entitled "I be leaf!" out of the Joy of Sox which I borrowed from Ariel. I winged the size and shaping though. I think they turned out quite lovely.

I got the Yarn from an antique mall in Sedalia, Missouri. This is why the color seems so retro. Its called "Jade", back when the lot number only had to be characterized by "FH". Sounds like there were a couple hundred of these skeins floating around back when these were made. Only 10 more skeins to use up in this weird color..

Finished! Lookin' Good

Antique Skein + Label. I have SO much of this stuff.

Stitching Detail

Things I've always wanted (but was too afraid to admit)

2011-01-31T22:16:00.000-08:00

A truck
I think trucks are wasteful. Every time I see one rolling down the freeway, I think of the amount of pollutants in the air. Regardless, I always thought it would be neat to have a truck. I own a motorcycle, and owning even just the tiniest pick-up truck would save me from at least one tow job every year. I wouldn't have to be worried about moving, and going to the swap meet would be a lot easier. Certainly I wouldn't drive it everywhere, just when my motorcycle would be down. It would make my life easier.

A Law Degree
I'm afraid of legal loopholes. Anytime I get in a fight with someone, I feel like I could be sued. Dealing with apartment complexes would be easier, buying things would feel safer. People don't mess with lawyers. I don't want to be messed with, manipulated, or cornered because I didn't know the law. The law may be the one thing I am most afraid of because there are laws for EVERYTHING. It should be that the law was there to protect the common good, to harm those with bad intentions and to let the ones with good intentions go, but no, it is mostly used as a money making machine. I mean... geez, think of police officers. They aren't perched on the side of the road so they can prevent a little girl from being kidnapped or raped. They are perched on the side of the road to brutally fine every little girl that forgot to register her car.

Oh, but I never would want to be a lawyer. There wouldn't be an easier way to deal with riffraff than to become a lawyer.

An exercise machine
.... So I wouldn't have to go to a gym. It would be convenient, yes. A quick half hour workout doesn't have to be a one hour event to include walking to and from, taking a shower, and changing. I could also knock it out of the way when I wake up or go to sleep, not break my day with it. Mostly I would want an exercise machine so I wouldn't have to deal with all the people at the gym. I wouldn't have to stare at the most beautiful women in the world get even more beautiful as they glisten and chat vivaciously with their other beautiful friends. I wouldn't have to bear them look at me while I change and shower. Finally, I wouldn't get that gross-out feeling when I subtly notice some guy staring at my breasts when I'm on the elliptical machine. Normally I would scoff at someone being too afraid to go somewhere because of slight unpleasantness, but after just a few weeks of going, these things make me dread going to the gym. Also, I always thought that I was tougher than that. Some guy look at me? I should be flattered. I didn't think I was one of those ninnies who was destined to join an all female gym. Its either that, or get my own exercise machine.

A Massive Birthday Party
I tend to shy away from parties lately. I don't know how to act at them and I always end up feeling alienated and uncomfortable. However, I want that big spectacle of a party just for me. Its hard to organize, and going only half way would be soul crushing. Too bad.. oh too bad. Its unrealistic even to dream about.

A twin sister.
Impossible, I know. Who can resist the idea of having a friend forever, someone who will share every single moment of your life with you?

The Omega Man: Film Review

2011-01-30T19:49:00.001-08:00

Omega Man

A 70’s reimagining of The Last Man by Mary Shelly.

The plot follows Robert Nellvile, an immunology doctor from “the war”, who is immune to a plague that converts people into cape wearing light fearing cult members. He spends his days reminiscing about the good ol’ days and lifting new cars out of abandoned luxury car dealerships. He spends his nights playing chess with a bust of Ceaser and warding off the night-dweller’s fireballs. We learn that the leader of the night dwellers is Mathias, a man who provides pride and direction for all those infected. Nellvile eventually gets captured by the night dwellers and a “crucifixion” is attempted. He is saved by a young black woman and her bomb-making friend. The small clan they are apart of are in constant fear of turning into night dwellers because they too have the plague, but are simply warding off the effects of it. Nellvile must try to save a young boy who is about to turn by using his disease resistant blood as a direct vaccine. The young boy, once better, is confused at why Nelville doesn’t use his blood to cure Mathias’s group. He offers their hideout in a moral ultimatum, “Kill ‘em or cure ‘em”. Nellvile refuses to do either. The young boy goes behind Nelvilles back and proposes the cure to Mathias, who murders him. Meanwhile the black girlfriend turns into a night dweller, immediately assimilating into Mathias’s group. Nellvile goes back attempting to save the young boy and his girlfriend. He dies a martyr, with obvious Jesus crucifixion iconography.

Two themes popped out at me while watching this film: Jesus as a martyr, and the natural rise of racial tension. A few things cued me to these conclusions. Mathias’s religious looking set up, with candles, pews, and chanting were heavy handed in the depiction of a church and its leader. Compared to the moral righteousness of Nellvile, Mathias looked down right pagan. There was also heavy handed iconography in the last shot, with Nellvile dying with his arms spread on the fountain after handing the rest of his blood to the human clan. He gave them his blood so that they may live. Plugging in all the variables, you have a man dying a martyr to save people from paganism. Also is the young boy acting as a traitor, wanting

Then there is the racial tension. Maybe they chose a young black girl in the female lead to sell more tickets. I doubt it. They were telling us that in a world where all social structure collapsed, a black woman and a white man could be together. They even said that. Outloud. The story even does a bit of exposition as well. There was a new racism that started out of the plague, the night dwellers and the humans. Nelville was lynched when he was captured. He was wearing a KKK hat and everything. There was a bit of reverse symbolism there, of course. He was a white man, so it was easier to put in a racist symbol rather than to depict him as a black man. The racist overtones were also portrayed when Mathias explained himself. Nellvile was hated not because of a particular atrocity, but because he was different from everyone else. The night dwellers did not see themselves as diseased, but internalized their affliction as their identity, allowing for the them to classify themselves as different from other humans.

Although these things didn’t pop out at me immediately. Nellvile was watching a movie called “woodstock” in the beginning. He was talking along with the movie, highlighting different quotes about equality and love for mankind. That led me to believe that the movie would be about appreciating society as it is, because the fall of society is just around the corner. Moments later he flashes back to bombings and horrific news clips from the war. I later thought that this section was about understanding the complexity of society and highlighting the sparseness of the current world. I still don’t understand what it was trying to tell me.

I didn’t like how the movie bordered on zombism but didn’t go all the way. Dawn of the Dead arose in 1978, 7 years later. Perhaps George Romano saw the possibilities of this movie and decided to go full zombie with it.

Overall a movie that is more complicated than it lets on. It didn’t end with a bang, but it was more interested in telling its story than guiding the viewers’ experience.

Ceramic Plate

2011-01-28T13:05:00.000-08:00

Before Firing

Final product!

I went to CeramiCafe two weekends ago and painted this plate. Its a neat little place where you can bring your snacks and coffee and paint thier ceramics. They provide the paint, the ceramic, and will fire it later for you. Its a little expensive, but for four hours of pleasent fun and a lovely and useful keep sake afterwards, its about right.

Red Turtle Neck Sweater

2011-01-20T01:10:00.000-08:00

I knitted this sweater with 9 skiens of Andean Treasure Yarn 100% baby alpaca wool from Knitpicks. It looks like the red iron oxide color I chose is no longer listed. It was wonderful to knit with. The yarn would slip over my fingers like melted butter.

The pattern was from Vogue knitting holiday 2010. The pattern called for Berroco's Flecked "Blackstone Tweed" but I decided to use the alpaca instead. I think my choice was ultimately better because its actually a nicer material at $4.99 a skien. The Berroco was a mixture of wool/superkid mohair/angora rabbit hair at $8.99 a skien. The thickness seems okay despite the substitution, and I actually didn't have to change my gauge from the one listed in the pattern. It was almost too good to be true. The only misgiving is that I don't have the cool freckled effect that the pattern shows. I'll have to handwash both anyway.

With most of the pattern being stockenette, I was able to finish this sweater casually in 2 weeks.

Update: as with all good things, this sweater met its end. I accidentally put it in the wash and it was felted.

Motorcycle Maintanance

2011-01-15T15:15:00.000-08:00

My motorcycle. It hasn't ran for three weeks. Before the new year it didn't run because it gets so cold in the morning that I would wear the battery down just getting started. My stater hasn't been working right for about a year so it would only take one cold morning to require a whole new battery.

Last week, I bought a new battery and charged it. I put it into my motorcycle, watched the lights turn on optimistically, turned the kill switch on, and then watched the lights turn off much to my chagrin. I was devastated. No amount of killswitch-keyswitch-neutral-in would cause the lights to even come on after that. I got frustrated. My dad (an expert mechanic) told me that there must have been some corrosion somewhere that shorted out my battery. I went about taking apart the whole motorcycle looking for corrosion in the connections. I took off the headlight, the killswitch assembly, and the fusebox looking for some villainous pool of water or rust. I couldn't find any, although I should probably go through with navy jelly anyway.

I went to this website for ideas on what to check. It mentioned that the good battery + no kill switch action was the worst case scenario. I agree. That means there is something wrong with the electrical connection, and thats the thing on the motorcycle that I understand the least. I should have studied Electrical Engineering in college, something useful like that.

I decided hours later that even though I didn't get to the clicking starter, the battery was the last thing I put in before it started acting up. I angrily took out the battery and took it over to O'Reilly's Auto Parts so they could do electrical testing. They have been much more reluctant to do that, I noticed, ever since they were last a Kragen's Auto parts. The battery checked out. At least I got to see the same employee that I run into everytime my motorcycle is acting up. He always sees me when I am at the end of my rope, and I was still the same grumpy girl he only knows.

Anyway I get back home, re-install my battery, and check whether it would turn back on or not just for kicks. And damnit, it did. I called my dad back so we could share my glee, and he acted like my lack of ability brought me to this point.

But I'm still want to share my glee, which is why I wrote this blogpost. I think I'll continue to be happy until the next cold morning.

Belated Christmas Gift

2011-01-13T23:51:00.000-08:00

I painted this for my good friend Ariel for Christmas. I just now got to a point where I feel comfortable giving it to her.

I wanted to give her something that she couldn't get anywhere else, that utilized my skills, and also made her feel good about herself. She can be a little self deprecating at times, and I wanted her to see what I meant when I called her 'rubenesque'.

The painting is a lovely rendition of aphrodite.

The Art of Travel

2011-01-07T02:35:00.000-08:00

Hulu gave me another gem today: The Art of Travel.

The plot is deceptively simple. It is about a high school graduate that takes a year off from UC Berkeley to travel the world. He finds adventure, interesting people, and beautiful sights. He falls in love, but at the end of the day, his greatest love is his nomadic lifestyle.

Like the message, the movie was about the journey. I saw the beautiful sights and had brushes with death just like the main character did.

There were a few rough edges. The main charactor was believable as a gawky high school graduate, but the acting made me cringe a few times. He was disengaged, passive, and unopinionated. I can't remember more than one expression on his face the whole time. The speech at the wedding was so bloody awful that I wouldn't be suprised if it was the first monolouge that this actor ever did. These small things are death to actors, but being imperfect doesn't mean it was bad.

To his credit, it added a bit to the movie. It made him a stand in for the members of the audience (the Bella in Twilight effect). I could imagine myself in his position.

Now for what made the movie great: It was convincing. The final minutes of the movie were so euphoric that I rearranged my entire life plan. I was high off of the possibilities. For a few moments I considered taking a year off (after college) and traveling the world finding adventure. I would laugh off every obstacle and truly live my life for now. I could make a difference in the world and ultimately make decisions with my own interests in mind, not for others, and certainly not for love. If I lived this life I would be strong enough to live independently, and finally happy. I was going to put a big encouraging sign on my wall saying "Really do it" because anything short of living nomadically is a modern farce of the independence I've always wanted in life. I was convinced.

The euphoria wore off as I polished off the rest of my physical chemistry homework. I have never been a good traveler. Most food makes me sick. I get every type of motion sickness... car-sick, boat-sick, turbulent-plane-sick. Then I realized that most of the fun of traveling is meeting new people. Even before I booked a plane ticket, I realized traveling is not for me and it never was. I had a sad crashing low shortly after.

Any movie that can affect me so viscerally must be doing something right.

Girl with The Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larson

2011-01-05T20:58:00.000-08:00

I don't know where I heard about this book. I don't think I know anyone who as read it. Despite all this, I bought this paperback copy from Target because I felt like Everyone was reading it. Four days later, I don't feel cheated. This book offered wonderfully griping suspense, damaged heroes, and despicable villains. Hundreds of pages passed seemingly with a blink of the eye.

The tale is about Mikael Blomkvist, a journalist that writes a story about a high powered CEO, and loses a trial because of it. He risks damaging the magazine of which he was a founder. A rich company owner takes advantage of his dire situation and asks him to help solve a murder that happened 40 years ago. New evidence is brought to light and events occur that lead Mikael to believe that it may not be such a cold case after all. I'm not going to spoil it for you. Besides, the plot is so intricate that explaining it might take as much space as the actual book.

What makes the book stand out aside from the compelling plot are the characters. The book offers two heroes. The girl with the dragon tattoo is Lisbeth Salander, a tough little young adult with major social disabilities. She has a stellar mind which she applies to investigative research, but she also has a repellent attitude that hints at a interesting back story. The lead male is adequately sharp when it comes to negotiations, but an idiot when it comes to women.

I'm not saying that the book was perfect. Here are my chief complaints.

- It may be a low blow, but its awfully hard to read about something that happened to Sweden. Its unfortunate that my only experience with swedish language is from Ikea, but it has tainted my experience in ways the book can not help. Everytime I read the name of a city, I think of a delightful paper lamp. I have no idea how to pronounce an umlaut. Its come to the point where everytime a swedish word is written, my eyes skim the word. If a reader skims words too often, their eyes will start to glaze over the page. Getting over the first 50 pages without being completely glazed over was the hardest hurdle in reading this book.

- The plot ebbed and flowed nicely, but when the mystery ended, I didn't care much about the corporate revenge. The Big Reveal should have happened at the end. As it stands now, the last 100 pages are a whisper.

- I see that the theme may have been about the hatred of women. I can't draw any conclusion about this. It seems that some women are poor murder victims and some just need to be beaten. At the end, did we find out that Mikael too hated women? I can't tell.

- Making up a situation where a forty year old murder could be so adequately documented and still solvable is brilliant. The village was isolated on an island with a blocked road, and everyone in town was photographed multiple times on a particular day. The fact that the solution lied outside of this hermetically sealed space felt cheap. How could I have guessed that?

All and all a good read. The book was 600 pages long, but I finished it casually in a couple of hours. I see amazon has copies for a 5 spot now. I can say that is an amazing value for this satisfying experience.

We live in Public

2011-01-01T13:21:00.000-08:00

I just finished watching We Live In Public, a documentary on Hulu about the internet pioneer, Josh Harris. I am quite pleased with this brand of documentary, similar to the Johnathon "The Impaler" Shakey documentary, where the documentary maker dives into the life and psyche of a person who created change (or a spectacle). Instead of making public the moment that made them great, it shows just how mentally ill a person must be to actually be great.

The movie follows Josh Harris, an internet pioneer from the ninties who turns into a performance artist after making millions with his first dot com. He creates a society called "quiet" which documents every waking moment of a society of trapped and manipulated volunteers. He goes onto creating a Truman-show-esque living situation with his girlfriend of which they document thier entire lives, culimating into the end of the only meaningful relationship in his life.

You watch his disturbing, attention grubbing, needy, inner most self come out when he is his most successful, an his true innovative genius come out when he is the most down emotionally and financially. The movie also speculates on how the relationship with his mother may have contributed to his mental instability later on, a journalistic speculation that I wasn't entirely convinced with.

Josh Harris believed that soon technology would become us. Our deep lonliness would eat us up inside, creating exposure that would not show the true us as we would hope, but rather an us that is manipulated by our need for other people. Okay, fine. I can see how someone so lonely would make that prediction about the world. My problem was that they made a connection to blogs, all technology. I don't know about him, but my use of this blog and technology is about self expansion and learning. In no way is it the brainwashing self destruction that Josh Harris illustrated with his social experiments.

On another note, this Josh Harris fellow went to my alma mater. I choked on my chips when I saw him sporting a UCSD sweatshirt during one of his video interviews. In this article, he notes that UCSD gave him some of the ideas he had for his social experiments. He used UCSD as inspiration for his sick, brilliant, insensitive social experiments. I can't be suprised. UCSD has such an essence that breeds isolation. They built this campus in the sixties to segregate students groups in order to dissuade riots and protests. The atmosphere has evolved into a breeding ground for lonliness, culimating into at least one brilliant mentally ill man to create societies of hyper connected people that are, at the end of the day, alone.

Scarlett by Alexandra Ripley

2010-12-31T09:47:00.000-08:00

I finished reading Scarlett, the Gone with the Wind sequel at 4am this morning. After that 900 page monster, I have a deep seated satisfaction knowing that love will prevail over all. I was worried at first about whether or not the book would end well, and it did, perhaps a bit too hastily.

The book starts off at Melanie's Funeral, with Scarlett making an ungraceful error that ruins her social standing in Atlanta. After moving to Charleston and failing to reconcile her marriage to Rhett Butler, she reunites with her Irish relatives in Savannah, who persuade her to visit her native land in Ireland. She is quite taken by the Irish plight and moves there, becoming the family matriarch and providing financial support to her loved ones. In Ireland, Scarlett discovers that she is pregnant with Rhett's child, but is caught offhand when Rhett divorces her and remarries before Scarlett can reveal her pregnancy. She unknowingly funds a peasent Irish uprising against the English that erupts when she begrudgingly accepts a marriage proposal from a shrewd English Earl. During the firefight, Rhett swoops in to save the day, confesses his love for Scarlett and his secret daughter, and they live happily ever after.

This book is a very good rival for the original. The tumultuous relationship defined by Scarlett's immaturity and Rhetts emotional betrayal is still true to Margrett Michell's vision. The writing style weaves a clear picture, detailing every lace collar and period mannerism, illustrating a true command of the south and the era. The book also wrapped up some of the tension that made the first one great. Scarlett grew into a mature responsible adult, learned to love her chidren, and ultimately ended up with Rhett.

The only problem was the pacing. There were about 400 pages right in the center of the book that came to a staggering halt. She was in Savannah getting to know her cousins, seeing houses.. getting to know people's names.. hanging out with her grandpa... going shopping, eating breakfast... and thats about it. I understand that this author might be an absolute authority in period lifestyle, but at the end of the day, her plight with her grandfather contributed nothing to the plot. She got nothing at ouf it and it did not fuel anything later in the book. This period also took an uneven proportion of the temporal scale. Her time in Savannah must have only been 6 weeks, enough time for her pregnancy to gestate without her knowing. The rest of the book took place over the course of 6 years.

The situation with Rhett also felt synthetically paced. He would pop in randomly in strange intervals as if the author was trying to remind us that he was still here and not to be bored by whatever is going on. This didnt seem so bad until the very end, when he sort of just showed up and wrapped up the plot in the last 20 pages. After I've been hanging on for 900 of them, I didn't want things to just start ending once the author realized that we've been doddling along.

But the bad wasn't so bad. I felt a little cheated at the end by the adrupt ending, but I was more enchanted by the outcome. I loved hearing about every piece of furniture in her house, every lace on her corset. My materialism was appaised by Scarlett's vanity. It was more about the ride than the story. And if she ends up with Rhett at the end, who cares?

Things I love

2010-12-30T22:14:00.000-08:00

The National Nuclear Science Museam
Depression Glass
Knitted Stockings
Fresh flowers
Gone with the Wind
Non fiction
Fiction
Chihuahuas
Black and White movies
Green Beans
Carbonated Water
Mangos
Caves
Cashmere Sweaters
The "Stuff You Should Know" podcast by Howstuffworks
The Barnes and Noble Nook, an ereader
Extreme Pita, a restaurant
Hot Showers
Manicures
fabric softeners
cross stitching

Parents' Christmas Present

2010-12-26T22:05:00.000-08:00

I painted this for my parents for christmas. To my delight, they LOVED it. My dad framed it and my parents tote it around with them to show whoever will look. Some people told me that I should try to persue painting as a career. Isn't that laughable? I know how to paint, and in times like these, I can make lovely christmas presents.

but a career? Ridiculous. I am going to be a science fiction writer, damnit.

Pointy Red Hat

2010-12-26T22:00:00.000-08:00

As soon as you display your talents to someone, they start placing orders. My aunt (who I knitted the fair isle heart toque for) requested yet another for christmas. I didn't knit anothing for any of my other relatives, but she got two . I used extra bulky lion hearts so I could get this thing out in an hour and a half. I think it turned out quite nicely myself.

Flying out tomorrow

2010-12-13T15:05:00.000-08:00

I am flying out to Sedelia Missouri tomorrow to visit my parents for Christmas break. This particular trip is going to be especially difficult because I am taking my boyfriend with me. I am pretty nervous about that

During the trip I hope to

Read!
work on my short stories
knit
learn a bit of Tagalog from my mom
Sight see
study my GRE words.

Wish me Luck!

New Highlight on Nanowerk

2010-12-10T16:53:00.000-08:00

My Small Publication was highlighted on Nanowerk today. This is the second highlight for my first publication! We are getting some GREAT publicity. You can view the highlight here. It is absolutely amazing to see things I've written, edited, and published being references in journals and new websites. I've edited both the image and video for this particular highlight.

I am besides myself with pride

Hatathon

2010-12-10T01:48:00.000-08:00

I knitted these toque style hats for my mentors from my lab. I think they look much better on. I made up the patterns using my very own brain.

Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey, Ph.D

2010-12-09T00:45:00.000-08:00

What is a Ph.D worth? People dedicate the best years of their lives to getting a Ph.D for the promise of knowledge, expertise, and respect.

I learned about a man today that made me question the whole institution of higher education. This man to the left here is Jonathon Sharkey: presidential candidate 2012 , a gubernatorial candidate for Minnesota 2006, a sociopath, a vampire, a kidnapper, and a criminal in three states. He is also allegedly a Ph.D in political science. I can NOT find any information supporting his educational background. His wikipedia page has been deleted. No one knows what university nor what specialization he got this degree at. For all anyone knows, he bought it off the internet.

Its driving me nuts. Why should someone like me aspire towards a Ph.D if any attention seeking nutjob on the street can get one?

Update: To satisfy my curiosity, I decided to email Jonathon Shakey. He was kind enough to respond.

--------My email-----------

Dear Impaler,

I was wondering where you got your Ph.D from. Is your thesis published, available online? I have been greatly interested in you since viewing your movie.

Thank you very much,

Maria Zimmerman

-----------Jonathon Shakey's Response-------------

Southern Christian University in Lake Charles, LA. However, was destoryed by Katrina in August 2005.

I am unaware how to get a copy of it. I think I still have a 3x5 floppie disk of it somewhere.

It was about the fact Judges are politicians, just like Congressman, Senators...

Because Judges have to run for office. They have fundraisers. they are party affiliated. They have to make deals to get into office.

Hence, when the ESTABLISHMENT calls, they must do the will of their master! Which means, Justice is not served properly.

Do Svidaniya,
Nel Sangue,

Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey (R)

Presidential Candidate

---------------------------------------

I don't buy it. Lake Charles was not affected by Hurricane Katrina.

I looked up Southern Christian University in Lake Charles, and I just can't find it. The only thing on the internet that suggests that someone has thought to string those words together before is a post by a Mr. Hardy Parkerson, Atty. He touts that Southern Christian University is a good school, having not only a law school, but also a nursing school. He claims that he is on the board of regents. Hardy Parkerson resigned under threat of disbarment for legal misconduct.

I found another cryptic post by someone apparently affiliated with Southern Christian University. He stated that "all Universities are phony, just some more than others"

The real Southern Christian University is located in Montgomery Alabama. He picked a university name sounding real enough to warrant not checking, small sounding enough to not be surprised by a lack of website, and common enough to confuse a google search.

Finally, I went to the Database of Accredited Postsecondary Institutions and Programs. Surprise surprise, Its not listed.

I have a hunch that anyone can say they have a Ph.D from Southern Christian University in Lake Charles, L.A.

------------------------------------

So I uncovered the truth all by myself. Where does that get me? I can't change his linkedin credentials, I can't change his documentary to bleep out the Ph.D. He is ruining the title Ph.D for everyone and I can't do anything to stop him.

The Clean Room

2010-12-08T14:42:00.000-08:00

Something about the clean room makes me very nervous. I've probably done the gowning procedure 10-12 times by now, but everytime I go through the motions I fell like I am doing something wrong. There is a great strain on me to remember every single little item, things I know that other people just don't forget. I must remember to store the hood inside out, to take off the second pair of gloves as soon as I re-enter the dressing area, to not put my gloved feet down on a certain corner of the room. There must be a certain brand of anxiety made especially for this.

It doesn't help that there is a deafening alarm everytime I forget to swipe my exit. This makes me hesitate exiting any room, for fear the alarm will make it public my forgetfulness.

Karl Suss MA6 Mask Aligner

2010-12-07T12:02:00.000-08:00

I got authorization on this machine: the Karl Suss MA6 mask aligner, used for all standard lithography applications. Our particular application is to etch a design onto wafers that will create the template for our microrockets.

New publication

2010-12-07T11:31:00.000-08:00

Swarming process: Gold microparticles can be organized into discrete regions by using an electrolyte gradient triggered by adding hydrazine to hydrogen peroxide (see picture). Control of the surface chemistry and particle density is used for tailoring the size and shape of the microparticle swarms.

Today I was acknowledged in a paper entitled "Chemically Triggered Swarming of Gold Microparticles" by Kagan et al. in Anglewante Chemie. If you have a subscription to this Journal then you can view it here.

My Paintings

2010-12-06T14:45:00.000-08:00

Contrast of Rococo and Baroque

Contrast of Baroque and El Greco

I was once a great painter. I've lost pictures of my old things over time, but here are two paintings from my high period. They were juxtapositions of different art periods, that's why the paintings might seem familiar.

Critical Point Dryer

2010-12-06T13:16:00.000-08:00

Today I got training on this Critical Point Dryer (CPD). We use it to allow our microrockets to be exposed to an aqueous environment from the organic environment that we used to dissolve the photoresist. This training will also be useful when I learn how to use the SEM (someday!). The process works by using Sublimation effects. Here is an article about super critical drying that will explain how CPDs work

Fair Island Cupie Toque for Breast Cancer

2010-12-06T01:45:00.000-08:00


Toque under construction.

I knitted this awesome hat this weekend. I threw the whole thing together with scrap yarn and my very own pattern. This project was prompted by my mother requesting I knit my Aunt a hat for Christmas. She has been plagued by breast cancer, losing all of hair to chemotherapy. Of course its my pleasure to use my skills to make her life better in even the smallest way, but I didn't have much to go on. When I asked my mom what she wanted, my mom responded, "Make different color." If I interpreted this correctly, I am supposed to make something colorful. I thought a nice fair isle pattern would be nice opposed to stripes, and this is what I came up with. This hat was knit in the round with different brands of acrylic yarn, notably carons, bernets, and red heart.

Final Hat!

Total project time: ~6 hours. A good chunk of time was spent sewing in ends!

Send me an email if you would like a pattern or more pictures.

Paul Weiss Seminar

2010-12-01T12:39:00.000-08:00

I went to a seminar today featuring Paul Weiss, a nanoscientist at UCLA. The title of the seminar was "Designing, Measuring, and Controlling Molecular and Supramolecular Devices"

He was an incredibly interesting person with a very personable approach to his reasearch. This is a man that has such passion, such interest in his own research that he is destined to become great. He is what nobel prize winners are made of.

My first short story

2010-11-30T00:53:00.001-08:00

I wrote a short story about a blind man named John Egner who gets lost alone in the woods.

Writing for other people is very hard.

I am extremely proud of my characterization of John, but I am wondering how transparent this is, how much John is me. Will I ever be able to write another charactor again? I'll just write about the same person over and over again in different circumstances, proving the same themes. What a person with limited life experience can write, eh?

What I want to do.

2010-11-29T14:21:00.000-08:00

While walking around the bookstore today, looking for the bookwriting software my friend Carol suggested, I realized that I wanted to read ALL OF THESE books. I realized what I wanted to do with my life. I want to write. Thinking back on my life, writing is the only thing in my life I've ever been good at, ever been proud of. The only A's I've gotten in college were in my writing courses. Unfortunately, I never saw myself among the likes of the literature majors on campus, and the thought of it being my major never crossed my mind.

I have no regrets. Working in a scientific laboratory has been facisinating, and its the best part of my life now. With this background, I have a vision of the future that I wouldn't have gotten being a classically trained writer. I want to use all this knowledge and expertise that I've gained with nanomachines and chemical engineering to write something truly unique. I want to be a science fiction writer. I want to be Michael Crichton with a tinge of Tom Robbins, but sentimental and thematic - a toned down Orson Scott Card.

So here is my plan. I am going to graduate college with my B.S in Chemical Engineering. Then I am going to move to Missouri to be with my family as I take on a Chemical Engineering position. Then I want to get a researched based masters (or Ph.D if I can get in!). I want to do research because that is where the futuristic technology is being made. I believe I can get the experience I would get in an M.eng on the job. I believe that this degree will be vital to me because it will keep me uncomfortable, on my toes, and creative. That is probably the same reason I want to move back to my parents.

Then I will turn one of my short stories into my first book.

I plan on keeping a job in chemical engineering for the rest of my life. My ambitions do not lie in the chemical engineering field because I do not wish to be powerful or rich. I never thought I could be truly great doing that. I am simply proficient. This writing goal excites me because I believe that it is something I could be great at. It will be my ticket to the useful life I've always dreamed I'd have.

Books and Movies Queue

2010-11-29T00:46:00.000-08:00

Books to Read
The Story of B
~~Scarlett~~
Between a Rock and a Hard Place
~~The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo~~
Uncle Toms Cabin
Andromeda Strain
Kafka
I, Elizabeth
Three Comrades
All Quiet on the Western Front
~~Frankenstein~~
~~Utopia~~
~~The Iron Heel~~
~~The Time Machine~~
Kindred
Going Rogue by Sarah Palin
~~Rhett Butler's People~~
Why Fathers Count: The Importance of Fathers and Their Involvement with Children
Guns, Germs, and Steel by Jarad Diamond.
Dune by Frank Herbert
Onward
One Simple Idea

Movies to See
~~127 hours~~
~~Timer~~
Indiana Jones Raiders of the Lost Arc
Tortilla Flat (1942)
~~Gun Crazy~~ (1950)
~~His girl Friday (1940)~~
Trainspotting
2001 a space odyssey
The Unbearable Lightness of Being
Working Girl
~~Twilight new moon~~
~~Moby Dick~~
Bachelor and the Bobby Soxer
Philadelphia Story
Maltese Falcon
Jane Eyre (2011)
Scarface

Circle Skirt

2010-11-28T17:53:00.000-08:00

I pulled out my sewing machine for a fun one hour project. I made this circle skirt out of one yard of printed cotton fabric (3 dollars at Yardage Town!). You can see the finished circle skirt modeled by my 1950's dress form. Here is a quick run down of the procedure if you are interested in making this quick and fun vintage style skirt.

You need: 1 sewing machine, heming tape, 1 sq yard of printed cotton fabric, 1 button.

Note: I use hemming tape because I like the lovely contrasting color and the ease of having a ready made strip of fabric. If you want to make your own hemming tape or use the scraps from the yard you bought (of which there will be plenty), feel free. The hemming tape is really nothing special here.

Cut corners off of fabric to create a large circle, the largest circle that you can.
Measure the circumference of your waist where you would like the dress to fall. Add two inches to this number so you can get in and out of your skirt.
Cut a hole out of the center of large circle roughly the circumference that you measured in the previous step. I did this by doing a tiny bit of math. I divided the circumference by 2pi to get the radius of the skirt, then folded the circle in half twice, allowing the center of the circle to be one corner of the folded fabric. Then I cut the fabric using an arc the radius I calculated away from the corner.
Hem the bottom. This involves folding over the bottom twice and sewing it down. If you've got an iron then use it to crease the fabric before sewing.
Cut your hemming tape. The length of the hemming tape is again the circumference of your waist + 2".
Pin your hemming tape to the waist of your skirt. If they aren't exactly the same size, then you should do a bit of pleating. The pleating will not likely be noticeable in the final product.
Sew hemming tape to the top skirt. Put the two right sides of the fabric together and sew them down.
Make a button hole in the hemming. If you are like me then your hips are way bigger than your waist. This step is to ensure you can get in and out of your garment. I laboriously made the button hole by hand, but there a lot of ways to do it. Just make sure your button hole matches your button! I pinched the hemming fabric together and pushed the button hole through both layers.
Sew down your button. If you can spring for it, use button thread. It is thicker and it will save you time in the long run. Place your button in a place that will cling the fabric attractively to your waist when buttoned.

You're done!

Wool Cardigan

2010-11-28T15:19:00.000-08:00

I knitted this cool wool cardigan! I'd say its the first thing I've knitted that I feel totally beautiful and comfortable in. I wish I had bought all the wool from the same dye lot, though. Hopefully everything will even out after a wash.

Black Friday

2010-11-26T21:59:00.000-08:00

I woke up at 5:30 to participate in my third favorite holiday of the year. When did it get this cold in southern California? The photo is my windshield mid-de-frosting.

Thanksgiving

2010-11-26T00:29:00.000-08:00

This is the first Thanksgiving I spent around children. I suppose I am reaching that age where my friends are having kids. What a difference they make! When there are children around, everything becomes about them. Without being enchanted by their small stature and lack of knowledge about the world around them, I don't know how I am supposed to like them. The worst thing is that I am not their mother, and I can't discipline them. Does this mean I hate children? I don't think so. I just think I need to get a puppy first.

The picture is of my apple cornbread post-production. What kind of loser children would say they hate something without even trying it? I put a lot of work into that cornbread.

Visit from the New York Times

2010-11-24T09:58:00.000-08:00

This man is John Markoff. He visited our lab today. I know him best from an article in the New York Times called "Smarter Than You Think: Google Cars that Drive themselves in Traffic". I had no idea that I would meet the author himself when I read this article three weeks ago. He is doing an article on the entire building, so don't look for me in the Times anytime soon. However, I bet he would post about us on his blog.

I am glad he didn't ask for my last name because I was being a COMPLETE dork.

My Publications

2010-11-23T13:23:00.000-08:00

I was recently acknowledged in this article about Nanoparticle Swarming entitled "Chemically Triggered Swarming of Gold Microparticles." If you have a subscription to Angewandte Chemie then you can view the article in its entirety by clicking HERE

The image to the left is the TOC of my first scientific publication. The title of the article is
"Rapid Delivery of Drug Carriers Propelled and Navigated by Catalytic Nanoshuttles". If you have a subscription to Small then you can view the article online in its entirety by clicking HERE.
Highlighted HERE in Nature Materials (!)
Highlighted HERE in Nanowerk (!)

The image to the right is Perspectives of the San Diego Bay I was amazed when I saw it at the UCSD bookstore. It was cool at the time, but I can't even put it on my resume anymore because it is so irrelevant to everything I am doing and attempting to do now

FYI I am going to try to keep this page current!

Before I die

2010-11-22T00:26:00.000-08:00

Write a book
Paint a self portrait
Run a marathon
~~Knit a sweater~~
Live in another country
Live in New York City
Visit India
Win a Trophy
Be an extra in a movie
Live alone
Use a Scanning Tunnel Microscope
Take a vow of silence.
Be loved
Participate in a Book Club
Learn to play an instrument (accordian?)

Being a Gluten Intolerant Vegetarian

2010-11-16T17:26:00.000-08:00

Vegetarianism. Admittedly I have only been a vegetarian for about three weeks. At this point the validity of this post depends on whether or not I eat meat tomorrow. I for one happen to think this is permanent, with the only danger of my vegetarianism being my visit to my parents next month. I can’t even help it. Meat is so delicious, so filling, so appetizing, but I can’t bring myself to eat it. It has become visceral. I can’t even put it into words or rationalize it to myself.

This is all due to a documentary I stumbled upon. Earthlings. You can view it for free online here, I mean, if you want your life changed forever. The documentary isn’t necessarily just about veganism, just the human animal relationship.

There are a few arguments I can formulate on why this documentary is completely off base, but the goal of the documentary isn’t necessarily to convince you, but to show you. It shows us suffering and makes us commiserate as if the suffering belongs to one of our own. Regardless of whether or not humans need amino acids from animal meat that we can’t produce our own and animals eat other animals in the wild. I just can’t un-see it.

Gluten intolerance. I am not celiac. It just doesn’t agree with me. Growing up I had a diet that consisted of beans, steak, and rice. I just didn’t have a very adventurous diet. Going off to college really opened my eyes. I was plagued by stomach problems. I tried the raman thing, the pasta thing, but I could never rest easy. Especially when I started exercise, my training and sleeping were random, and I always felt nauseous. I have a memory of my first 5k. I ran 3 and 4 miles regularly every night beforehand, and I had a planned finishing time of 20 minutes. I was given a muffin that morning from the race hands… and I barely made it a mile before I was vomiting into a trash can. After one unfortunate trip to a bakery one of my friends suggested that I may be gluten intolerant. I’ve been practicing self restraint ever since.

It is hard to restrain. The punishment is put off quite a bit, and I associate bread and pasta as treats from my childhood. Cheating for me is having a slice of pizza… some pasta for christs sake. And don’t get me started on beer. I think I’ve only had one beer in my life.

I try to get creative, but there are a lot of salads and beans in my future.

Another chance to watch earthlings! http://www.earthlings.com/earthlings/video-full.php

failed attempts

2010-11-15T14:47:00.000-08:00

I have found that my previous attempts at a blog have failed. I tried to hard to focus each blog, making it something that someone else would want to read. Alas, I am interested in just too many things. I still need to write about myself though, as I crave this brand of quiet outburst.

I am the type of solitary person that needs some type of social impact to believe that I still exist. I don't need a big impact either, I don't have the energy to make a big impact anymore. I do hope that people read, because I do believe I can be an interesting person.

A bit about me: I love knitting, sewing, painting, and creating in general. I like camping and hiking, and running if my fitness level allows. I like to read books. I ride a motorcycle that is constantly breaking down. I work in a nanomachine lab and I am finishing up a degree in chemical engineering. I am planning to take the FE/EIT as well as the GRE in the next year. I am also a gluten intolerant vegetarian.

I am also a considerate, sensitive, insecure girl like the rest of them.

I'll try to take pictures.

I want to also write about what I want and my journey to get there.
I want to be valued, I want to be self confident. I want to know things.

I want to stay focused... and that has always been my problem.